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The Jellicle Ball
A mission to raid Last Rider supply dumps leads you to strange and interesting places Cast * Kefilwe Lobatse * Steve Sissay * Jody Marsh Plot First Supply Dump Before starting today’s mission to raid Last Rider supply dumps, Jody just takes a moment to remind your teammates, Dr Lobatse and Steve, about professionalism. Riders On The Main Road At the first supply dump, inside a tattoo parlour you find a cache of incendiary bombs. Next on the list you’re off to a 1-Star B&B, but you’ll have to take to the back streets to avoid some Last Riders. Better Not Get Caught The 1-star B&B contains some good anti-fungal medicine, Retaborin, at least. Your next stop, a theatre, is less a cache and more a place of interest for the Last Riders. You could pick up valuable intel, but there’s a high risk of getting caught, with no escape. Jelly. Kill. Ball. You hurry inside the theatre when Steve’s spotted. The show was an interactive version of CATS, where the audience, dressed in mouse masks, navigated an AI controlled maze full of ‘cats’. Steve thinks you should play along, so on go the mouse masks. Backstage Dr Lobatse wonders if the Last Riders want the AI here. Steve’s hitherto unknown love of musical theatre comes in handy - he can get you all backstage, where you can grab the AI core. Up The Ramps The AI core is one Veronica’s asked you to look out for. Timing will be everything for this escape: as the lights go out Dr Lobatse throws an armed incendiary bomb towards the doors, and you pull the core from the mainframe. Then it’s time to get out of there! Good Effort Though The theatre’s backup lights come on, alerting the zombies to your location. Luckily, the Retaborin found earlier is also an industrial lubricant, and you use it to slow the zoms. Steve and Dr Lobatse reach a mutual understanding about their relationship. S07E11 // Rofflenet Discussion regarding this mission can be found on Rofflenet Transcript JODY MARSH: Okay, runners, turn left at the cinema. Five, Steve, Lobatse, Janine’s bought this intel at a really high price, so we need to make it count. Our informant’s given us a list of Last Rider supply dumps. You three have a wide range of expertise and I need you working together today. That’s not going to be a problem, is it? STEVE SISSAY: We’re professionals, Jody, love. Here to find out what we can about the Riders and steal some supplies. KEFILWE LOBATSE: How are the survivors of the rave? JODY MARSH: Traumatized. More even than normal zombie attack survivors. They really thought the cure meant they could have a party in peace. KEFILWE LOBATSE: There is always someone to whom peace and quiet mean they must listen to the voices in their own heads. Those are the people who must fill silence with explosions. STEVE SISSAY: Is that a comment about me? KEFILWE LOBASTE: Not at all! And we are going to be professional today, Steven. JODY MARSH: Okay! So to take your minds off… this, long range cams show six Riders heading for your location. You need not to be around when they get there. STEVE SISSAY: Well, we can’t waste intel, so we have to check out each supply dump. JODY MARSH: That’s right. And because it’s just that sort of gray, drizzly day, you’ve picked up a couple of zoms. Okay, professionals, the first supply dump is the tattoo parlor at the end of the road. Get there before the zoms and Riders, or - KEFILWE LOBATSE: We know. Let’s run! creaks open, bell jingles JODY MARSH: Okay, the zoms are slipping on the greasy pavement, so you’re ahead of them. How’s our intel? Anything in the tattoo parlor worth having? STEVE SISSAY: Mm, nothing so far. Ink, pictures of people’s backs. Wait! laughs Look! whistles KEFILWE LOBATSE: That looks very interesting, Steven. A large metal box filled with - JODY MARSH: What have you got? Anything they used to make that rave drug? STEVE SISSAY: Not quite, but it’s good. Cache of GX-93 incendiary bombs. Weaker, but more stable than burn cubes. Five, help me load them into our packs. JODY MARSH: This is good news. Our intel might actually be solid. Pack up quickly. STEVE SISSAY: No problem. What’s our next stop? JODY MARSH: You know, I doubted this one, but as we did find something good in the tattoo parlor, the nearest cache is a one-star rated B&B called The Hawk and Harridan. Did you know someone called “I Still Have Standards” actually moved reviews from travel sites to Rofflenet? STEVE SISSAY: Some people just can’t let things go. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Do you have to? STEVE SISSAY: That wasn’t about you! JODY MARSH: Professionalism? Five, your path to the B&B is down the cobbled street. There are Riders on the main road, so you’ll need to use back ways. Five, take point. Go! creaks open KEFILWE LOBATSE: I can see why this place was only given one star. I have seen mud shacks that are bigger and less dusty. Also striped wallpaper, checked rug, zebra armchair. JODY MARSH: Still, we got lucky last time. Split up and see what you can find. STEVE SISSAY: Okay. Five, check out the kitchenette. I’ve got the front room, Kefilwe’s searching the bedrooms. rummage JODY MARSH: The reviews are incredible, by the way. “I wouldn’t stay here again if that dirty kitchenette was the only thing between me and the zombie horde. Don’t ask how I know.” laughs KEFILWE LOBATSE: I’ve got something. STEVE SISSAY: Stockpile of medicines? KEFILWE LOBATSE: Retaborin, a very rare antifungal oil. It treats a fungal infection caused by proximity to rotting flesh. This will help relieve much suffering. Five, please pack it up. unzips JODY MARSH: No solid info on the Riders’ plans yet, but this is worth having. Hmm, I was going to tell you to stop, but look. Okay. I’ve been a runner in the field. It’s up to you. STEVE SISSAY: What’s the situation, Jody? JODY MARSH: Six Riders are circling the town. I can get you to your next stop via the back streets. It’s a theater. KEFILWE LOBATSE: But? JODY MARSH: But two things. First, the informant said this isn’t so much a cache as a place the Riders have been very interested to get into. KEFILWE LOBATSE: If the Riders want to get in there, we may learn about their plans. JODY MARSH: Yeah. It’s in a blind alley. If you get caught, you’re stuck. STEVE SISSAY: Then we’d better not get caught there! Everyone ready? Let’s run! engines rumble STEVE SISSAY: Damn it! I think that Rider might have spotted me. Any clues about how we get into this theater, Kefi? KEFILWE LOBATSE: There is a poster on the door. “The Inflexible Players, a theatrical experience you will not be allowed to miss.” That sounds threatening. STEVE SISSAY: I remember them! That interactive theater ? where the audience are part of the show. They locked in the audience. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Steven, have you always been such a fan of the theater? STEVE SISSAY: laughs Well I’m, uh, full of surprises, love. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Evidently. This door is closed. creaks open Oh! But not locked. RIDER: I see them! Here! STEVE SISSAY: No choice. In we go! creaks and slams shut and locks KEFILWE LOBATSE: It is dark in here. I can just about see a… pile of mouse masks. tolls COMPUTER: You are the mice and we are the cats. You are locked into the trap. Put on a mask and you may survive. handle jiggles RIDER: Door’s locked. Can’t get in. on door STEVE SISSAY: Oh my God. I-I do remember this show! It was infamous. People had panic attacks and fainted. It was a combination of theater and puzzle room. You had to put on a mouse mask and navigate a maze while being pursued by - KEFILWE LOBATSE: Zombies dressed as cats? STEVE SISSAY: People dressed as cats. laughs They called it a deconstructed version of - JODY MARSH: The musical Cats! STEVE SISSAY: And the only way to win was to find Mr. Mistoffelees. It was incredibly complicated, run by an AI system. JODY MARSH: Okay, you’re in a maze. You need to avoid the cat zoms and figure out what the Riders wanted here. STEVE SISSAY: Put on the masks. I think the AI responds better if you do. And if I’m right about where they are in the show - and I am - the whole cast is about to enter the maze for the Jellicle number. COMPUTER: Jellicle Ball, Jellicle Ball. Jelli-kill Ball. moan STEVE SISSAY: Follow me. Run! JODY MARSH: Good work, Five! I didn’t think you’d get through that last twirl sequence untouched, but you dodged those pirouettes like a pro! Found anything worthwhile there yet? KEFILWE LOBATSE: rummages It’s full of atmospheric props like letters from the cats to other cats, but nothing useful. tolls COMPUTER: Remember, three blind mice, you are the ghosts. The spirit of the mice eaten by these cats. STEVE SISSAY: Ah. It knows there are three of us because we’re wearing the masks. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Is it possible what the Riders wanted in here was the AI itself? It’s certainly sophisticated. Although they do not seem interested in technology, it must have taken complex calculation to work out the formula for their rave drug. COMPUTER: Only Mr. Mistoffelees will save you. You must find him. raises, music plays KEFILWE LOBATSE: Look up there! A cat zombie with a white front and a black sequin jacket is rising up on a platform. A spotlight is following it. STEVE SISSAY: That’s Mistoffelees. I’ve seen Cats nine times. It’s a masterpiece! JODY MARSH: If the door in is locked, following him might be your only way out! KEFILWE LOBASTE: Do you know the way up, Steven? STEVE SISSAY: Yeah. I looked at plans of this production. I know how to get us backstage. There’s a quick route for stage managers to use when people had panic attacks. KEFILWE LOBASTE: Can we get the AI core on the way? STEVE SISSAY: We can, but it’ll stop the lights and the AI working. We’ll be alone in the dark with zombie cats and no way to open the back door. KEFILWE LOBATSE: I think I know how to get the door open if we can time it right. STEVE SISSAY: laughs Well, uh, musical theater always needs good timing, love. When Memories plays, the theater will go dark, which should give us our chance. KEFILWE LOBATSE: We’ve got company. Look! Three of those zombies are Last Riders. They must have come in here, got locked in, and been bitten. We cannot end up like them. Backstage, run! KEFILWE LOBASTE: Jody, we are backstage in front of the mainframe. There is a computer core labeled “Alpha Zeon.” JODY MARSH: I’ve heard of that! I’ve got it on a list, actually! That’s one of the cores Veronica wanted us to look out for to help stabilize her. That is incredibly valuable. STEVE SISSAY: When we take it out, all the lights will go off. Then we’ll need to climb up that ramp in the dark to reach the door, which you reckon you can open, Kefi? KEFILWE LOBATSE: We have JXQ-93 incendiary bombs. STEVE SISSAY: Yeah, but we can’t be in range when they blow, Kefi. Even if we get them to the door, we need to shelter, and there’s nowhere. KEFILWE LOBATSE: But JXQ-93s have a 15 second timer. That is the same timing as the platform that raises and lowers to the exit. If I arm a bomb and throw it onto the platform, it will blow the door at the top. STEVE SISSAY: Oh. You, uh, listened when I talked about JXQ-93s. KEFILWE LOBATSE: I always listen. tolls COMPUTER: Memories… memories… JODY MARSH: Guys, we’re almost at blackout time. Five, get ready to pull that core. Lobatse, you ready to throw that bomb? KEFILWE LOBATSE: I bowled for the ? Pediatrician First XI. COMPUTER: Memories… memories… I remember… KEFILWE LOBATSE: I’m throwing it now! bomb STEVE SISSAY: Perfect shot! KEFILWE LOBATSE: Nine, eight… JODY MARSH: Five, you need to pull that power cord out to free the core in three, two one - powers down, explosion STEVE SISSAY: We’ve got the core. We need to get to that door before any of the zombies spot us. Up the ramps, go! JODY MARSH: Team, report! KEFILWE LOBATSE: The lights are coming back on, Jody. There must have been a lighting backup. STEVE SISSAY: Ugh, this core is incredibly heavy. The zombies, they’re gaining on us. KEFILWE LOBATSE: We’re not going to make the door! STEVE SISSAY: Yes, we are. We have Retaborin. You told me it was developed as an industrial lubricant before they found out about its antifungal properties. Here, Five, take a tube and squirt it down the ramp. squelches KEFILWE LOBATSE: It’s working! The zombies are sliding back down. Come on, Five. One last push to get this core out. opens JODY MARSH: Oh my God, that was close. You’re okay, though. The theater was built into the hill and you’ve come out nowhere near the entrance. When the Riders get here, all they’ll find is one angry furry zombie mess. KEFILWE LOBATSE: I cannot believe you remembered about Retaborin. STEVE SISSAY: I… don’t think I’ve forgotten a single thing you’ve said to me. I do understand. We can’t be like zombie cats, keeping on doing the same thing, even though the reason for it died a long time ago. KEFILWE LOBATSE: While it was alive, it was good. STEVE SISSAY: That’s a - a metaphor, though, isn’t it? For our relationship, which was good. Rather than the show, which was clearly terrible. KEFILWE LOBASTE: Yes, Steven. A metaphor. In any case, something good has come from it today. We have taken supplies from the Riders, and we have this core. When Veronica has more processing power, she will be closer to finding a solution to the V-types, too. JODY MARSH: Yeah. And then we’ll be the cats and they’ll be the mice! … No? KEFILWE LOBATSE: No. STEVE SISSAY: Definitely not. laughs Good effort, though. Maybe you can find a pun that rhymes with Jellicle. KEFILWE LOBATSE: Five, let’s get this core home. Category:Mission Category:Season Seven